The Myths of Confidence

One of my favorite activities in Project: Inside Out is about the topic of confidence. When the students are asked the question "What must be present to be confident" they typically respond with things like friends, popularity, cool clothes etc. Sometimes the responses will include things like believing in their gifts, self-love, self-compassion, self-forgiveness, self respect and for some... their relationship with God.

Although the exercise focuses on the universal response for all, I recognize that what is true for one may not be true for another.

What I want the students to know is that confidence can only come from within. Waiting for things like better grades, more friends, a certain award or even being a certain weight or size, will not bring confidence. In fact, I believe, they will only be disappointed since the bar is simply raised waiting for some other accomplishment for confidence to be maintained.

Confidence can be elusive. It can always be just out of our reach when we look outside ourselves for the good feeling of being confident. Confidence can slip through our fingers when we are attached to things going our way. It can be a frustrating wait if we believe the response of others to us or what we do is what determines whether or not we deserve to be confident.

What I want for the students to know is that confidence is already within their hearts, waiting to be tapped, like turning the spigot on a faucet and letting the good feelings of trusting themselves flow, without fear of failure holding them back.

Just imagine how much more would be accomplished in the world, if more of us felt confident to try something new or to voice an idea or to take a chance in exercising our creative power. I imagine there would be more people happily living life than there would be those living with a cloud of fear following them, keeping them reigned in and playing safe.

So, what is the Myth about confidence? The myth is that it is in the hands of someone else. The truth is you already have what you need to own it and use it.