Caribbean Breeze

I've been in Jamaican for the past six days and although enjoying myself completely there are times it gets so hot that I think I may melt into a puddle of Kate. This morning during breakfast, I experienced one of those times.

Just as I was thinking I must get out of the sun, a lovely breeze blew in from the sea and reminded me that sometimes relief will come in the next moment and not to be hasty about quitting or leaving a situation that is uncomfortable or difficult. When I commented on how good it felt, my waiter said, "Yeah, Mon....that is our Caribbean breeze....always refreshes".

As in most every day experiences when I am tuned in and aware, there is a lesson here for me. Today's lesson is to stay and to not give up or give in to what I perceive to be more than I can handle. Patience and a mind that does not dwell or focus on the negative can often move through that particular situation into one of greater ease, simply by allowing for a bit more time to pass and perhaps another perspective or idea to show up.

So, as I leave my air conditioned space and venture outdoors once again, I will be open to the breezes that I trust will continue to come.

An Inside Job

It is always exciting for me to talk about the intentions of the Project: Inside Out program with new students. I recently had the opportunity to do that when I spoke at the local middle school open house last week, only days before the first day of school.

The gymnasium was packed to overflowing, filled with students and their parents. The school principal had a full agenda, but was kind enough to allow me a few minutes to introduce the middle school program of Everyday Leadership which is open to students of 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grades, and takes place during their respective lunch periods.

I was delighted after simply giving a brief background about what Inside Out does to later be swarmed by parents and students that wanted to know more.

It is a beautiful sight when I see the faces of these new students that want to be a part of a program that focuses on the positive in themselves and one another, rather than make fun of the negative, or make unkind judgments just for the purpose of causing hurt.

I trust that the students that sign up to be a part of the group know that they have much to offer and want to learn how not to compare themselves to anyone else. How exciting it is to consider that these innocent kids can some day be influencing others in a positive way by spreading what they learn wherever they go.

This program is effective because it focuses positively on what's inside first and then lets the outside component take place as a natural outcome. It is challenging, difficult and sometimes even impossible to be kind to another when you can't be patient, understanding or compassionate with yourself.

It is the philosophy of Project: Inside Out that the better we think of ourselves, the better we can see the best in others. It's always an inside job. Simple, isn't it?

The Myths of Confidence

One of my favorite activities in Project: Inside Out is about the topic of confidence. When the students are asked the question "What must be present to be confident" they typically respond with things like friends, popularity, cool clothes etc. Sometimes the responses will include things like believing in their gifts, self-love, self-compassion, self-forgiveness, self respect and for some... their relationship with God.

Although the exercise focuses on the universal response for all, I recognize that what is true for one may not be true for another.

What I want the students to know is that confidence can only come from within. Waiting for things like better grades, more friends, a certain award or even being a certain weight or size, will not bring confidence. In fact, I believe, they will only be disappointed since the bar is simply raised waiting for some other accomplishment for confidence to be maintained.

Confidence can be elusive. It can always be just out of our reach when we look outside ourselves for the good feeling of being confident. Confidence can slip through our fingers when we are attached to things going our way. It can be a frustrating wait if we believe the response of others to us or what we do is what determines whether or not we deserve to be confident.

What I want for the students to know is that confidence is already within their hearts, waiting to be tapped, like turning the spigot on a faucet and letting the good feelings of trusting themselves flow, without fear of failure holding them back.

Just imagine how much more would be accomplished in the world, if more of us felt confident to try something new or to voice an idea or to take a chance in exercising our creative power. I imagine there would be more people happily living life than there would be those living with a cloud of fear following them, keeping them reigned in and playing safe.

So, what is the Myth about confidence? The myth is that it is in the hands of someone else. The truth is you already have what you need to own it and use it.

My intention of creating this blog is to give my students the opportunity to share their thoughts and ideas about living their lives from the inside out, without fear of being judged, evaluated or compared to anyone else.

The premise on which Project: Inside Out was created was based on universal respect. It is my belief that when students tease, judge or bully someone else it is simply an indicator that they are not happy with who they are. The flip side of that coin is when a student knows and appreciates themselves fully, there is no need to compare themselves as better or less than anyone else.

It is my hope that students learn to recognize their own unique strengths so they can be respectful leaders in their schools, families, communities and especially in their own lives.